Teflon, Mirrors, and Choices: The Three-Step Reset

Let’s face it—words can hit like darts, and moments can press buttons you didn’t even know you had. That’s why I lean on my trusty three-step process that I developed twenty-five years ago: "Deflect, Reflect, and Select." It’s simple, but it works wonders.

Here’s how it goes. When someone says something that stings—or when life throws a curveball—I mentally let it deflect right off me, like I’m coated in Teflon. It’s not ignoring or bottling up. It’s choosing not to let the heat stick.

Then comes the reflect phase. This is where the magic happens. I pause and weigh my options. What’s the smartest, kindest, or most strategic way to respond? Is a quick retort worth it? Often, just a beat of reflection brings clarity. By the way, many of the ways I do this are shared in the chapters of this book.

Finally, I select. This is where intention meets action. I pick the response that aligns with who I want to be—not who the situation might tempt me to become.

It’s not always easy, and sure, it takes practice. But this little process has saved me from countless missteps and “did I really say that?” moments. So the next time something lands with a thud, take a breath, deflect, reflect, and then—select. Trust me, it’s a habit worth building.

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Mitch Jackson | links