CHAPTER 16: AFTER THE DEAL IS CLOSED- REFLECTING AND IMPROVING
Negotiation is not a one-time act. It’s a daily skill, a human interaction that evolves every time you open your mouth, listen closely, or choose silence. The process never stops. Every conversation, every deal, every misstep, and every win is a fresh draft in the book you are writing about how to move people with purpose.
Start with reflection. After each negotiation, pause and examine what just happened. What worked. What didn’t. What surprised you. Where did you hesitate or push too hard. What did you learn about the other person. What did you learn about yourself. Write it down. Capture it while it’s still real. These aren’t just memories. They’re your manual.
Then go deeper. Study your wins. Study your mistakes harder. Wins show you what aligned. Missteps show you where your instincts were off. Ask yourself what assumptions you made. Ask whether you missed a signal. These questions pull insights out of the noise and sharpen your instincts. That sharpness builds over time.
Feedback from others is part of this process. Don’t wait for it to land in your lap. Ask for it. Get real feedback from people who were in the room or who know how you show up. Listen without defending. Accept the raw truth when it comes. It’s the shortcut to getting better.
You don’t get better alone. Watch skilled negotiators. Read everything you can. Talk to people who live in this space. Let their approaches shape yours. Let their mistakes save you time. Surround yourself with people who know what they’re doing and aren’t afraid to show you how they think. Keep your mind open. Stay curious.
Set real goals. Be specific. Decide what you want to improve. Maybe it’s patience. Maybe it’s asking better questions. Maybe it’s walking away with confidence. Write down what you’re going to change before the next negotiation and stick to it. Specific targets turn growth from wishful thinking into something you can measure.
Practice daily. Every conversation is a negotiation. At home. At work. On the street. Use them. Get comfortable making your point with clarity. Try different ways to ask for what you need. Listen for tone, not just words. Watch how people react. Every interaction is training.
Try new tactics. Break your habits. Try the method that made you uncomfortable last month. Step outside your style and see what happens. Not every experiment will work. That’s the point. The goal is to expand, not repeat.
Keep learning. Stay tuned in to what works today. Read current research. Study trends. Learn how technology is shaping conversations and deals. Don’t fall behind. You don’t need to know everything. You just need to be awake and aware.
Negotiation is not about tricks. It’s not about games. It’s about people. It’s about how you talk to them. How you understand them. How you move together toward something worth saying yes to. It’s not about dominating. It’s about connecting. It’s not about winning. It’s about creating something that holds together.
You don’t need a perfect record. You need a habit. The habit of learning. The habit of showing up with intention. The habit of practicing your voice, refining your message, and adjusting your aim. This is how you build strength. This is how you lead.
Keep going. Keep showing up. You already know more than you think. Keep shaping it. Keep speaking it. Keep negotiating. That next conversation is the next step. Take it.